Moving away from WHY and more to HOW

This morning started out much like any other non-running weekend morning.  No alarm clock, birds chirping, coffee....and I boot up my computer to begin my first module of the survey study I have been selected for.  With minimal prior knowledge as to what the study actually involves-I know I will be reviewing some online course material, taking a survey about the material and providing feedback, then being handsomely rewarded with an online gift card.  (I like free stuff and helping out so this feels worth it to me). 
I start up my computer and take the first module "Executive Functions" in which I learn various topics of the brain and brain function with regards to flexibility, organization, planning, working memory....and various areas where it is typical folks with autism struggle.  The program is designed to educate parents, have them evaluate their children, then develop strategies to cope with the way their minds work.  HOW AMAZING IS THAT?  We have then moved from WHY and causes of Autism to actual COPING strategies for ideas/behaviors.  I am immediately in awe of this program and wish I could share it with other Club Spectrum families...even thinking this could be adapted for educators!!  I finish with the online session and decide to put my learning into practice.
Abby gets up and we get ready for her local soccer competition.  We have practiced and she does very well at the practice but nerves and anxiety always get the best of her at competition.  I say a little prayer that her brain is able to cope with todays events.  As we ride to the competition, we talk about the skills she will be performing and what she has learned/practiced over the last several weeks.  We arrive at the soccer area and are feeling good (even though it was seriously cold and windy).  Opening Ceremonies is great and we are off to compete. 

*The Breakdown Begins*

We are helping prepare the other athletes on our team for the various areas and Abby's face turns to worry and anxious (I could recognize this face blindfolded).  She starts telling me she "can't" do this and hides.  I feel myself getting angry and upset.  I tell her "we aren't doing this today" after several minutes of trying to calm her down.  I get so mad at the volunteers - what is taking them so long? Why can't we get started already?  The standing around is making her worse.  While Abby is with her "team" I decide I need to take a walk and calm down.  (After thinking about this in hindsight, I know Abbys triggers and one of them is standing around too long to think repetitive negative thoughts.  I have no recovery or strategy yet to cope with this other than trying to keep her distracted with other ideas).
I return to the area to find competition still has not began so I hang back and watch as the groups are formed for skills competition.  One of the other athletes she has competed against, which has developed into a friendship, comes up next to Abby and grabs her hand.  I watch them walk over to the beginning area and Abby's body language has now changed.  The worry/anxious face is gone-she is laughing with her-and competition begins.  I walk over to her friends mom and tell her how appreciative I am and how happy I am for her daughter to be competing today.  She has SAVED the day without even realizing it.
The rest of the competition goes fine.  She performs well, she does everything she is supposed to, she does not give up or quit!  She ended up with a GOLD medal in her division and is SO excited we get to go to State Games this year.


As we leave competition and travel back home, I talk to Abby about her struggle in the beginning.  She says "I was worried about whether to walk or run or kick the ball."  It occurred to me that her own mind trapped her before she even started.  I thought about how when I go for long runs and my mind tells me "I can't do this!" or has thoughts of giving up...Abbys mind does the same thing.  I explain to her that we sometimes have to "trust in our training" because we have practiced for each competition.  She then tells me that Soccer and Running are very different.  Well, yes, literal child-they are different sports---but some of the concepts are the same. 
I am happy we are moving forward, learning about Abby's strengths and using them to overcome her limitations.  The more we learn together, the more success we will have!  Proud to be a member of #teamAbby and #teamdunn as we work towards #autismawareness and #autismacceptance

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